5 Ways to Build Self-Esteem

Too many of us struggle with building or maintaining a positive self-image. In a world that profits off of our feelings of inadequacy, it’s all too easy to focus on the ways in which we feel we don’t measure up. We may know that a healthy sense of self-esteem is important, but that knowledge often doesn’t do much. 

So what is self-esteem? To put it simply, self-esteem is one’s sense of confidence in their own abilities and worth. It is, understandably so, one of the core tenants of overall mental wellness. Unfortunately, self-esteem is not easy to come by for everyone. Without further ado, here are five ways you can get to work on improving your self-esteem. 

1. Pick a Hobby 

- This could be anything! Ping pong, painting, chess, anything. The great thing about recreational activities is that they allow you to step outside of your comfort zone in a low-stakes sort of way. Your worth is hinged on more than whatever practical value you’re bringing to the table. 

- Hobbies are great because they aren’t about you - they’re about what you’re doing. And, since they’re purely for fun, you don’t have to be good at them to enjoy them. In that way, they are an excellent method to get to know yourself better. You might find that you’re competitive, or that you can’t stand competition. 

You might find that you have excellent hand-eye coordination, or that you ultimately just prefer opportunities to be social. The chance to spend time with yourself without expectations or demands is often exactly the step back we need to remember that, hey, we’re not all that bad. 

- After all, if self-esteem is so largely based on our confidence in our own abilities, what better way to develop said confidence than to pick some abilities you have or would like to have and dedicating time to explore them. 

2. List Your Accomplishments 

- I call them “CTC Lists”, which stands for “Critical Tasks Completed” - but it’s your life, and you can call them anything you’d like. Think of these as the opposite of a to-do list: instead of cranking out all the tasks looming over you, instead list the tasks you’ve already completed. This can be as big-picture or small-picture as you’d like. Not only does this motivate you to actually complete tasks - it also serves as a great reminder that you probably do more than you think you do. 

- Some days, your critical task list might involve applying to jobs, responding to a friend you’ve been accidentally ignoring for months, and running 5 miles. That’s great! On other days, your critical task list might be that you got out of bed, washed your face, and ate a grilled cheese. That’s also so great. Only you know the weight of these tasks; please let yourself be proud of all the things you’ve accomplished. 

3. Be Your Own Best Friend 

- Think of a close friend. How would you talk to that friend if they were feeling down? If your friend forgot to turn in an assignment by the deadline, would you

call them a screw-up no-good loser? If your roommate was romantically rejected by someone they really liked, would you tell them it’s probably because they’re unattractive and unloveable? I sure hope not! Chances are, you would wrap them in a physical or metaphorical hug and remind them that they’re awesome, that we all make mistakes, and that their sun will rise again. One of the best ways to start liking yourself is to start talking to yourself like you would any other person that you like. Stop being so mean to yourself! It’s really uncool. 

4. Dress to Impress… Yourself! 

- One of the most common pieces of advice for those new to working at home is this: get dressed like you’re going into the office each morning. Why? Because, believe it or not, we don’t really dress up for other people. We dress up so that we feel good about ourselves. And when we feel good about ourselves, we are way more inclined to fall into behavioral patterns that make us proud. So wear your cutest outfit! Wear that color that makes your eyes pop! I don’t care if you’re leaving your house or even your bed. If you have the means to do so, wear whatever makes you feel good about yourself. 

5. Define Success on Your Own Terms 

- Only you know what success truly looks like for you. Maybe success for you means carving out time for yourself to go on a bike ride. Maybe success for you means finding a group of sweet silly peers who you go to Trivia with on Tuesday nights. It really doesn’t matter. Ideally, you’ll find one of two things once you redefine success. You will find that you’re already more successful than you realize; or, if not, you’ll find that success may be far more attainable than you previously thought. For me, success varies. Sometimes success is showing up to work on time and giving my best effort. Sometimes, success is deep-cleaning my house when I get home on Friday so I can pretend to relax over the weekend. Sometimes, success means acknowledging that, hey, I’m still here. That counts for something. That counts for a lot. 

So there you have it, folks! You are already so worthwhile. I don’t care what anyone has to say about it - including you.

-Elizabeth Raps
Elizabeth is a musician and writer living in Athens, GA